“The old manor loomed ominously in the distance, its sprawling façade adorned with intricate carvings and ornate details. It was said to have been built centuries ago by a wealthy nobleman who had since vanished without a trace. The rumors surrounding the manor were as numerous as they were unsettling. Some claimed that it was cursed, while others swore that it was haunted by the ghosts of those who had died within its walls. Regardless of the truth, the mere sight of the manor was enough to send shivers down the spines of even the bravest souls.
As we approached the manor, a thick blanket of fog began to settle around us, obscuring our vision and making it difficult to see more than a few feet ahead. The silence was deafening, broken only by the sound of our footsteps crunching against the gravel path. The air was heavy with a sense of foreboding as if the very atmosphere was warning us to turn back. Despite our misgivings, we pushed on, determined to uncover the secrets that lay hidden within the walls of the manor.”
Many VCE and selective school candidate students struggle with creative writing, whether that involves vocabulary, techniques, or structure, but especially fail to identify those errors. While most English tutors and VCE tutoring centers might award the piece with a 17/20 for its sense of foreboding and mystery, strong language, and language clarity, many selective school examiners, and Artin Education would only score this segment a 12/20.
Many tutors fail to realize the complexity and layering of many creative pieces need for them to become engaging and high scoring. For example, while the opening sentence is evocative, it lacks specific sensory details to bring the setting to life. The writer could include more specific descriptions of the carvings, such as their shape, texture, or color. Additionally, the writer could describe the sounds that emanate from the manor, such as the rustling of leaves or the creaking of old wood. By providing more sensory details, the writer can create a more immersive experience for the reader.
Another error selective school exams may spot out includes that the narrative could benefit from more varied sentence structures and descriptive language to maintain the reader's interest. The current sentences are generally simple and straightforward, which may cause the reader to lose focus. The writer could use a mix of short and long sentences, as well as different sentence structures, such as starting with a prepositional phrase or using a dependent clause. Additionally, the writer could employ more vivid and descriptive language to paint a more detailed picture of the setting, characters, and events. By varying the sentence structures and language, the writer can create a more engaging and dynamic reading experience.
Similarly, the narrative could benefit from more varied sentence structures and descriptive language to maintain the reader's interest. The current sentences are generally simple and straightforward, which may cause the reader to lose focus. The writer could use a mix of short and long sentences, as well as different sentence structures, such as starting with a prepositional phrase or using a dependent clause. Additionally, the writer could employ more vivid and descriptive language to paint a more detailed picture of the setting, characters, and events. By varying the sentence structures and language, the writer can create a more engaging and dynamic reading experience.
As such, where many English tutoring centers fail to recognise many outstanding issues in English writing pieces, Artin Education succeeds in identifying, simplifying, and eliminating the numerous habits and mistakes writers make in their journey from selective school examinations through to the VCE examinations.
